RobotLyra, Urban Cosmonaut

I don’t know if this is the kind of story you meant, but this is the story I’d tell if I ever got to be in the red chair on The Graham Norton Show by some remote chance.  Also, this is the longer version.  I’d never get it out if I told this version out loud.

When I was about five or six years old, my favorite store at the closest shopping mall was a toy store called Imaginarium.  The storefront had been modified to have two doors, one full-sized and one child-sized.  I loved that child-sized door to death and would only enter or leave the store through there.  One day I was leaving the store, running to meet my parents outside, when I found that the little door was blocked by a crowd of men.  They were all very tall from my small child’s perspective and dressed in dark suits, sunglasses and huge headphones.  I remembered my manners and shouted “Excuse me!”  The men in suits all stepped back, only to reveal another man at the center of the crowd in a bright red sweater who wasn’t moving.  Angry, I reached out and pushed on his knee until he backed up, obviously startling him.  Once my path was clear, I ran outside and met my parents.  My dad lifted me off the ground, pointed to the men exiting the store and said “Hey, did you see former-president Reagan in there?  He’s the one in the red sweater.”

Heheheh, I know my friend Jack would get a kick out of this one.

“HELL WITH YOU, GIPPER, I GOT PLACES TO BE.”